英文小品：The Lumberjack’s Dream伐木工人的梦

Character: Reporter, God of tree, Lumberjack, Son

Camera man(extra): OK, Ready- go!

Reporter: Hello, everyone, and welcome to our special show where survey mystery people. Today I’ll have a talk with a crazy lumberjack. This lumberjack wants to cut 10,000 trees! Now he has cut over 9900 trees. I’ll go to talk him. What are you doing, Mr. Lumberjack?

Lumberjack:...

Reporter: Um…, excuse me, sir?

Lumberjack: …

Reporter: I want to introduce you sir!

Lumberjack: What! What!

Reporter: Oh, sir. I’m from XXX Public Radio Station. We want to interview you.

Lumberjack: Go away! Go!

Reporter: Oh, my god! sir! It’s a live broadcast! What are you doing?

Lumberjack: (Take a axe) Go!! Get out of my forest!

Son: What are you doing, father? This is a chance to be famous!

Lumberjack: They are all stupid. They don’t know why I cut trees.

Son: Father, actually, I also don’t know why, either. Why do you cut trees?

Lumberjack: Because… Um. Um… W…Wh… Why do you ask me such a question, stupid son!

Any… anyway! You, you must to be a great lumberjack! Do you understand?

Son: But… lumberjack is a very bad job. Lumberjack is tree killer.

Lumberjack: Shut up! Go away! I have to cut more trees.

(2 hours later)

Lumberjack: Now! I cut 9,999 trees! This is the last one! Haha! My wish will come true!

( When he raises his axe to cut last tree, God appears suddenly.)

God: Um…I… Where? Where? Ooch! Oh here! Um…I’m God of tree. You must not cut that tree! If you cut that tree I’ll punish you.

Lumberjack: What was that?! He said I must spare the last tree… the last tree… Ok, I won’t kill it…( Turn around) But…! I’ll cut it. (Later he cuts the last one.) Oh, yeah! I cut the last tree. Um.. there is nothing… that animal was a liar! Oh, stupid God! But it’s good for me haha! I have to take a rest now.

God: You! You make me very angry. Now I’ll give you punishment! I’ll change your body into a tree!

Lumberjack: No! Stupid God! Noooooo….. I can’t move my hand. I can’t move my feet! Oh, my God.

(Long times later)

God: Now do you realize that you did bad work?

Lumberjack: No, I don’t know stupid God.

(Long long times later)

God: How about now?

Lumberjack: No, stupid God.

(Long long long times later)

God:…

Lumberjack: No, go away! (God was disappeared) Oh, I haven’t felt happy like this. Today is very good. Flowers, glasses, oh, good.

Camera man: Ready! Go!

Reporter: Hello, everyone. It’s time to meet mystery people! Today we will talk about a crazy lumberjack’s son. His father was disappeared 10 years ago. Now I’ll talk with him. Hello, sir, why you follow your father?

Son: Because my father wants me to be a lumberjack, a great lumberjack! And father disappeared! So I’m working for him now….

Reporter: Aha! How about you ability to cut trees?

Son: I’ll show you how I cut tree.

Father(Lumberjack): No! It’s me! I’m Faaaather.

Son: I don’t like to use an axe. I like to use electric saw. It’s very cool! First you press this button and pull it! (And he saws that tree.)

Lumberjack: No! Help me! Stupid son! I’m your father!

(It was a dream, father wakes up.)

Father: Oh! No! Oh… It was just a dream. Just a dream!

Son: Father, are you Ok?

Father: No, I’m not OK, stupid son! (Kick son)

Last: It was a stupid story about a father and son. In reality, though there is no God of tree, we still have to answer for what we do to nature. We should love and preserve our nature. Thanks for listening to us!